In which I want a crepe but do not get one

Indianapolis Monthly has just made me swoon, via "The Dish," with mention of banana and Nutella crepes. It is too late to get some, hour-wise. Must distract self. And perhaps you!

Me, in words:
A headline poem, "Monkeys Ponder What Could Have Been," in Gargoyle 57

An interview with PANK Magazine, at their blog

Short fiction, "Arrested Development," in Midwestern Gothic

Me, in events:
I'm teaching two "Get Started" sessions at the Indianapolis Central Library on Saturday, from 1-2:30 p.m., and also from 3-4:30 p.m. This is part of the Indiana Authors Award event. Very excited to attend the dinner. Business attire is recommended! I do not know exactly what this means, which is part of the excitement.

And, I'm teaching a session on the essay at the Gathering of Writers, a fantastic annual event put on by the Writers' Center of Indiana.

(I still want those crepes. Man.)

Uh-oh

Today's horoscope: "Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The answers you need may be lost in the mail or floating in cyberspace. You and your can-do attitude will prevail."

That's a nice little uplift at the end. Still. THE ANSWERS I NEED MAY BE FLOATING IN CYBERSPACE? Super. I'll just get started tracking them down. Because cyberspace is small, easily managed, and it shouldn't take me, oh, more than an hour.

Also I have tons of spare time! So there's that.

USPS, I still love you. Whitney Houston-style: I will always love you. Do not be confused, though: I am not saying you are Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. Which is playing simultaneously in living rooms across the nation, on three different channels, at any given point on any given day.

Except Sunday.

Ten lines in ten minutes

1. Life observed from the car window is removed times two, yet feels sped up.
2. The dancing Cash for Gold man usually wears a gold lame suit and plays cardboard guitar, though lately he has taken to wearing a vampire costume for Halloween (presumably.)
3. Once I watched a special on TV about a man who claimed, from jail, not to have killed a woman he seemed guilty of killing; during the interview, he played a small guitar he'd made of cardboard and dental floss.
4. At The Avett Brothers concert the other weekend, I entered a raffle to win a signed guitar.
5. I said I'd really learn to play this time, if I won.
6. I'm going to win, I told my friend Allison.
7. I didn't win.
8. The night was chilly, more than that, the night was cold, and we wore our blankets and stomped our feet and danced and watched the moon and the stars and listened to the Avetts singing song after song, all that emotion, what do they do with all that emotion, I love them for having it, writing it, sharing it.
9. Sometimes in class, I feel as if I'm being watched/recorded, a la Candid Camera, based on the ludicrousness of situation.
10. Maybe I am.

Lost Dissertation Opportunity #267

Degree Candidate: Sarah A. Layden
Degree Sought: PhD in Popular Culture and Fast-Food Studies
Working Title: Color Me with Condiments: Representations of Race and Class in Burger King's 1974 "Have it Your Way" Campaign
Research questions: What is the cringey to sassy ratio? Is that Jon Voigt asking for four Coca-Cola? Why not colas?