On Goodness

Just finished psychologist Dacher Keltner's book "Born to Be Good," subtitled The Science of a Meaningful Life.

The book studies the science of human emotion: the logic of feeling. The author says we are "hardwired for good," that compassion and empathy are natural instincts that ensure our survival. It also repeats the theory that altruistic acts are borne out of selfishness: people do good because it makes them feel good. Which still seems like something of a win-win, as far as society is concerned.

There's a pretty fascinating study of facial expressions -- what they convey and how others read them. Everyone knows that smile that doesn't quite reach the eyes, the one that seems a little bit fake, that makes you suspect what's being held back. And the smile that seems so genuine that you feel comfortable at once with a person. Turns out those smiles have a name: Duchenne for the more open, eye-reaching smile, and non-Duchenne for the other, which takes less muscle work and also provides a completely different emotional experience for the smiler.

All this appeals to my inner anthropologist, especially when I'm writing fiction. I'm pretty sure all writers have some sort of inner anthropologist they draw upon to consider what makes people/characters tick. I do believe that humans are, generally, more inherently good than they are evil. But goodness is rarely the most interesting plot point. Stories need conflict, and humans crave conflict in stories. We need to be reassured that Things Work Out. But first, stories need a big fat sloppy mess of problems before any sense of goodness arrives.

Consider the soap opera "Days of Our Lives." I watched it one summer when I was in junior high school, in between babysitting jobs. I vaguely remember the characters Bo and Hope, who had big '80s hair and were in lurrrve. Passionate soap opera love. Change-the-channel-when-your-mom-walks-into-the-room love. I haven't seen the show since then. But this week in Toby Goldstein's syndicated "Soaps" column, which I read and cut out in the name of a super-secret writing project, there's this summary: "After drugging Bo's coffee, which caused him to pass out, Hope doused him with gasoline and lit a match."

Now that is some smolderin' love.

Would we be surprised if, in another 20 years, they're in love again, sneaking into the nursing home broom closet for a clandestine rendezvous? We would not.

It's all cyclical. So let us cycle back to more sources of goodness. You could get lost for a good long while in these sites:

Learning to Love You More

The Beckoning of Lovely


Be good.

Shakedown 1979

This is an American social studies textbook from 1979. Bask in its wisdom.



I have things to decide.
I have to do more things.
And you?



Yeah. Good call.



That's the $20 million question, pardner.

I Will Choose Free Will

Who reads the horoscopes every day? That's right. I do. While I am officially an Aquarius, I make a habit of reading other people's horoscopes, too, just to keep track of how they're doing. You know, according to the stars. Do I read yours? If you're reading this, I probably do.

The daily paper runs short ones, which makes it easy for me to catch all the latest on how my planets and yours are aligning. But I especially enjoy Rob Brezsny's syndicated weekly "Free Will Astrology," which acknowledges that a person can shape the meaning as they see fit. (As we do anyway.) The one below, though a week old, seemed like a good point to meditate on while I take a little break from writing:

"You may still be gnawed by a longing for your life to be different from what it is. You might fantasize that you're missing a crucial element that would, if acquired, usher you into a Golden Age. But I've been analyzing the big picture of your destiny, Aquarius, and here's what I see: This year you're being offered the chance to be pretty satisfied with the messy, ambiguous, fantastically rich set of circumstances that you've actually been blessed with. The first half of 2010 should have inspired you to flirt with this surprising truth. The second half will drive it home with the force of a pile of gifts left anonymously on your doorstep." Rob Brezsny, Free Will Astrology

Rob knows me so well! And so do the stars, planets and constellations, which may be aligning as we speak.

Summer Reads/Make Me Feel Fine

The spreadsheet of books I've read so far this year is kinda sparse compared to the last two years. And the summer months, my dependable downtime for reading, have been busier than usual: I'm cranking out pages on a new project, taught for a few weeks in June, and have gone out of town for several long weekends. I've also been reintroduced to my love of badminton, which, as you may know, requires serious training and dedication.*

I've managed to read 16 books, less than half of where I was last year at this time. (Alas, this is just not going to be a 70-book year.) One book I finally finished is Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. It's a biggie. I renewed it from the library five times. They will be glad to have it back.

So: soon I'll be taking a break, and I'm looking for suggestions for summer reading. I nearly always pack too much to read on vacation, and so far am thinking about Chuck Palahniuk's Choke, Elinor Lipman's The Family Man, and Sarah Dessen's YA novel Dreamland. But there's room for more: mayhaps something lighter than Wolf Hall (2.5 lbs!) and heavier than Sweet Valley High** (do carrot sticks, like, weigh anything?).

What say you?

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*The round robin tournament is sporadic and ongoing. Now booking court time and future tournament seedings. Serious inquiries only. Please keep in mind that my crowning achievement in high school was being the individual badminton champion of ninth grade gym/1st period.

**I read all the SVH books growing up. Obsessively. Over and over. I received 100% on this quiz. Don't hate.